CLINTON & stackey
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Episode two : Polar opposites
Oh no, have I killed my best friend.. *weep* for shame!

I have to find him and at least return his body to the bear morgue.. I wonder if I will be charged with murder,,, Un my defense I looked for him

Clinton.. are you in here?

(sigh) I wonder if anyone will testify against me.. I didn't mean it- I wonder if bears can plead the fifth
Oh- What's this I see?
What is that I see in the distance? Is that Clinton? CLINTON! OH CLINTON - thank god I have found Clinton! Clinton can you hear me?? I'm so glad I've found you! It's amazing you survived that fall!

WHAT, GET OFF MY LAWN! I WAS ENJOYING A MOMENT!
Oh, my apologies - I thought you were Clinton and .. AND WHAT? I AM SO ANGRY .. WHO THE FUCK IS CLINTON ANYWAY Sorry! It's just that you look like him.. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY.. THAT ALL BROWN BEARS LOOK THE SAME? FUCK OFF BLACKIE
Pardon me but could you tell me how to find my way down the cliff.. I don't know the area
THE CLIFF? YEAH, TAKE A LEFT BY THE TREE.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THE CLIFF?
Uh.. no reason theankyou... I like cliffs .. I plead the fifth!


hey that ryhmes.. I wonder if I can put it in a rap.. I'm going down the cliff.. watch me in court I plead the fifth .. judge judy be checkin me out without a doubt..yo yo I'm stackey emcee.. most definitelee .. uh.. I kinda need to pee.. and .. I kill all my enemiee...s ... you betta watch ya back ... ryhmin skillz I most definitely don't lack.. because I am whack. and.... I smoke crack.. uh... .... I am black
Oh,.. I wonder if this is the tree he meant
Or this tree?
Or is it THIStree? I don't know, rapping distracts me- but I'll definitely take a left.
Oh.. where am I?
--meanwhile-
I say father, what is that I see obstructing the fairway?
Oh I must say this upsets me most! I can't take my shot!
Holy dash, Giles, is that a black bear? or do mine eyes deceive me?
IT IS MOST A BEAR! SHIT RUN
Whoa! Aiee! Blacks on the golf course you say? Shit!
We must quickly exuent! Quickly! To the tea house!

I wonder where those people are all running to.. I am very lost! Oh, what is that I see in the distance.. another bear?

a polar bear??
Hello?
Oh hello dear chap. Fine day for a stroll wouldn't you say?
Yes. What's your name?
Michael
Pleased to meat you Michael. What are you doing on the golf course? I am lost, so you must be very lost!
Certainly not! I've never heard of anything quite so absurd! Us polar bears have to navigate thousands of miles each year, don't you know! Have you ever heard of a polar bear needing a map? No, I didn't think so; us polar bears are a very sophisticated branch of bear kind. We don't get lost that easily hohoho.
Hm I didn't think polar bears came around these parts..
Hohoho You're quite mistaken! A polar bear lost - hilarious! Anyway, you uh, couldn't tell me where I could find some PEAS could you? I've been foraging for PEAS all day. My search for PEAS has taken me many desperate miles.
Peas? Do you mean you need to take a pee.
No, don't be quite so brutish! That's rather insincere! I mean PEAS to eat, you scally!. You don't know anyone who I could get some from?? Polar bears are addicted to peas don't you know.. the one and only way to catch a polar bear, us resilient lot, is to have a degree in science. Then you visit our homeland. You watch where a polar bear may tread and take a detailed log of where exactly it likes to look for food. Then you aquire a saw and cut a hole in the ice roughly the diameter of an adult polar bear. You then discard the sheet of ice as you would a money-lady after sex.. Then you delicately put peas around the perimiter of the hole. You proceed to hide behind an ice hill and wait. You could wait for days.. months even, but eventually the polar bear should come if your log book is correct, and then should see the green peas set against the rugged beauty of the tundra. Then when the polar bear goes to eat one, the scientist will come out and kick the polar bear in the back, making him fall into the water! Thus he is ripe for capture. Our fatal flaw. We cannot resist!
Really.
Man I need a fix really bad.
Yeah okay listen I don't know where any peas are.. the store?
Do they have a frozen food section? If not, it's quite unhelpful.
I don't know. They do have jiouce. I'm going for some jiouce and to see if they have bullet proof vests. Maybe you could help me, Michael. I'm looking for my friend, Clinton. I wonder if you have seen him on your travels?
Does he have peas, perchance?
No, he doesn't Michael. Not to my knowledge.
Well I must say I find it difficult to recall that much from this morning.. all though I do seeing another bear down the cliff.. he was brown.. not like blacks and browns to associate though, is it hohoho quite
That might be him!
He looked in a bad state, that old chap, hardly proper by any length. But I cannot remember. I would surely need some peas to jog my memory!
I think Clinton might have some peas Michael.
Really? This is under no pretence, one would hope.
Yes! He has peas ALL THE TIME! He's practially a pea manufacturer! Do you want to come with me to find him, since you saw him and all.
Why yes, indeed! Ookay.
This way, I believe! Tally-ho!

hay Michael, are you that bear from the coca cola advert?
No! I'm rather affronted by your accusation!
It was only a queestion
I would not prostitute my self as a money lady for such a corporation. I am a bear of great constitution, do you not know! It is simply beyond foolishness to assume that because I am a polar bear I represent such companies like coca-cola.
I like pepsi better anyway, coke is for homeless people
Ack!
Oh I wonder if I go in this tree, if I will see Clinton
I don't like this!
Go up higher, you slob
Whoa! This is higher than I've ever been! I feel like I'm going to fall off! I'm really scared!
That was pretty scarey
Did you see your friend?
Oh no - I'm so stupid I forgot to look!

Good show. Quite.
Let's go!
LATER..
What is that I see in the distance? Another bear?
Is that Clinton?
It is! Clinton, please wake up - don't be dead! Are you having sex with a tree?

CLINTON, THIS IS DEATH SPEAKING. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS IT IS NOT TIME FOR YOU TO DIE YET. YOU ARE A BEAR OF GREAT NICENESS.
Clinton - do you want to die like this or like this? Ugly hicks may kill you and fart on you - but not your best friend. Do not betray him!come to life! Do good for the world and follow your dreams!
Hello Clinton, are you coming to tea?
Yes Clinton do you remember me? I'm your friend Benjamin the bear! I want you to come to life because I LOVE you Clinton.
Mmm you're a sexy bear clinton, aren't you? You like hicks don't you? only hicks go to heaven you know..

WHOA
Clinton!
It's so good to see you!
Stackey - I've had a near death revelation. I must follow my dreams.



LATER...


hey everyone I'm Clinton the Joker and I hope you're in for some fun tonight!
You know, I heard about this neutron that ordered a drink at a bar. He asks the bartender "How much?", the bartender says "For you, no charge"!!

...

And the same atom met another atom the same day, no sorry, that's not it he BUMPED into another, yes I believe that's right, atom the same day. One says "I think I lost an electron." The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"!!!! ...

....
Clinton, Do you mean HIV positive?
... no ...
I don't get it. I paid ten bucks for this.
psst Clinton.. I think you'll have to tell your best jokes now -- tell that joke about the bird!


So, uh, okay.. yeah, exp(x) was walking down the street when he saw Constant running toward him. exp(x) said, "Hey, why are you running?" Constant answered, "Down the street is a derivative! He'll make me disappear!" exp(x) replied, "Don't worry, I'll take care of him for you. I'll be the same as always." exp(x) sauntered up to the derivative and said, "Hey, nice to meet you, I'm exp(x)." The derivative replied, "Hi, I'm d/dy."
what the fuck, seriously.

... a polygon is not when your bird flies away.. haha ha ha haha.?
Hey blackie, I must say I'm most worried your friend has a degree in science
Man he's dying up there! I think it's time for me to take over. Hey everyone I'm Stackey the funney bear. How is everyone tonight? I'm okay.
So who here can name me a famous blackberry? Anyone?
I don't know
Halley Berry! LOL
Hahahahahahhahahah!!!!!!! That's funny!
Oh and your mother is so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a refund!
LOL! that support guy sucked!
And before you guys ask - I know you all have dirty minds - damn right it is true what they say about black bears!
Whooo don't go there! Hahahah!
Okay everyone I've been Stackey the funney bear and you've been a great audience, really.. NOT! LOL!
That guy kills me! Let's go home.
I don't get it .. I was told to follow my dreams
Maybe you just weren't cut out for comedy, Clinton
I hate to interrupt gentlemen, but Clinton, your friend blackie here told me you may have some peas
Peas?
Yes, peas.
Michael, he does have peas, but also a degree in science. You heard his jokes didn't you.
Yes.. I did.. and those browns always have such a good education.. but my mother told me never to trust a black... I must conclude..
I MUST DEPART! FAREWELL BLACKIE!
What was with that guy? And what did he want? Peas?
Oh I don't know.. he had to pee really bad I think.

well come on clinton, let's go
Where?
The store. Where else?






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This episode was dedicated to TIGER WOODS


Oh look, Tiger won another trophy

tiger woods
December 30, 1975 - ???????

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